Ok, I have to post this here or I will continue to "stew" over it! I know my adoptive Mommies will understand this.
We recently had Ahly's 5 year check. While in the room with the Dr, we were discussing her small stature. Mind you Ahly is on my lap I am facing the Dr, maybe 3 feet away. And out of the blue he says "I suppose we don't know the stature of her Mom"........ I froze, afraid of what Ahly was going to ask, and what could I prepare to respond.. Luckily, she was to busy to hear (eating no less). But I couldn't believe it. Is he really that naive that he couldn't even had said Biological Mom or even something like "I suppose we don't know much about her past history"..... But no he used the MOM card right in front of Ahly!!!! I am so thankful she was preoccupied. God was definitely watching over us that afternoon. Sigh......
This joyous time was then followed up by 3 immunizations and a blood drawing. My poor girl had had enough, and so had her MOM!
9 years ago
Just ridiculous!!:( Thank goodness her ears were busy!! Doctors can be so inconsiderate,I think sometimes they think they are so smart that they just don't even think before they speak,they just talk and there you have it...WHAT????? Atleast that visit is over right?:) Gidget
ReplyDeletePerhaps it might be worth it to follow up with the doctor about appropriate adoptive language. He/she might have medical savvy, but quite possibly has not had much experience with adoption? Hoping this is the case, anyway. Sorry, for the tense moment. Sometimes UN-doing insensitive comments can be rough.
ReplyDeleteJulie R
So frustrating! I'm glad Ahly was occupied. They train doctors to be sensitive about so many things -- physical handicaps, mental illness, etc. -- seems like adoptive families would be on the list too. Sounds like you handled it well in the moment.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Good Grief! I think I would have said, I am 5 foot 6 or however tall you are. Meanwhile giving him a very mad look. I am glad your child was occupied.
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I totally understand your anger, but maybe that is not surprising, because I'm a adopted mother too :0) But thank God your daughter was occupied. Anyway, my name is Kristbjörg, and I live in Akureyri Iceland, but my daughter was born in India and comes from the same home as your son. In fact, they were there at the same time, do you remember the picture of all the babies at the home in the arms of the nannies? My daughter is the little girl standing in the bed! :0) Her name is Karen Irani (Irani being her Indian given name) and we brought her home in February 2009.
I would love it if you would contact me, my e-mail address is kriss_a@simnet.is.
Hugs from Iceland.
Krissa
Yikes! That would have had me fuming, too! It really is unbelievable that some people are so ignorant. I'm feeling your frustration...
ReplyDelete:)Kristi W.
That would have absolutely TICKED me off. But that's just me. I would've said something back, though. You did great!!
ReplyDeleteWell this adoptive daddy understands too! It's a losing battle for sure, but I wouldn't have expected it from your physician! I think a short conversation expressing your concerns is completely appropriate.
ReplyDelete